But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
