he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
