IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
