Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Randomize
