party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
