We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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