You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
