In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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