u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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