That's intense
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
