What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
