Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
