If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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