I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
