She just used a chaser for red wine.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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