chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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