I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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