But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
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