I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
