For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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