there's paper in my vomit.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
