I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
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