Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
