Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
