Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Even the bartender felt bad for me
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
