now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
