but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
There's always time for handjobs
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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