i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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