belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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