I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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