we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
