make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
