i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
