'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
