used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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