So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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