I hate your face
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
