Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
