My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You made out with two different species that night
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
