Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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