i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
