everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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