seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
