If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
