I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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