I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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