I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
