remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
