But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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