Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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