there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
