ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
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Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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