i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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