Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize