i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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