hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
