And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
