I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
