those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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