Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
